Things I've done, you should never do

Date a Parking Meter
While walking downtown one sunny day on my way to a meeting with people I'd never met before, I was scurrying along while reading email on my phone.  I like to multitask as much as possible. I slammed into my new best friend, a parking meter...with my jaw.  Needless to say, after feeling blood in my mouth, I made it to the meeting on time but explained my inability to say my name correctly while introducing myself.  It was a humbling experience.

Be a Creeper
As most of you know, I have a 7 month old kitten, Cooper, who I adopted from the local humane society. He loves to play, especially in the morning, while I am getting ready for work so I participate as best as I can.  I crept up on him one morning and when he turned around to see me, he freaked, jumped at my face, all four claws stuck to my skin, realizing we were both anxious about this move, he took off in terror.  Calmly, I took a deep breath, turned around to find the only band aids I had were bright purple, pink and blue.  Yes, I had to wear them for a couple hours!

Throw a Friend
I love to golf.  I've been playing for 13 years.  I have a handicap of 28.  For those of you who don't play golf, it's not a handicap that will make you any money.  In fact, I would never quit my day job.  One day, while playing with friends on a course, (which will remain nameless) I was driving the cart (I believe that was the last time I was allowed to drive a cart) the grass was a bit wet.  As I approached the putting surface,  my eyes caught the white line (no carts passed the white line).  I slammed on the brakes and there she goes, my best friend, Angela, flew from the cart.  I wanted to gasp for air and grab her but I found myself laughing hysterically, it was in such slow motion.  Unfortunately, she hurt herself and was unable to golf the remainder of the day.  To this day, I am not sure which one hurt her the most - her body or not finishing the game! 

Walk Across Hot Coals
As a young girl, I loved to run bare foot on the beach at the lake.  In fact, my grandparents had a cabin at Diamond Lake. One evening as the sun was setting, I ran past a couple of cabins to meet up with my summer time friends. As I approached them, I ran through hot ash from embers that were burning earlier in the day.  I had to wear bandages and slippers for two months - long into the school year.  To this day, I am thankful I don't have scars but fair warning on your summer outings, wear flip flops and pay particular attention to gray sand.

Create a Designer Milk Shake
I am not a whiskey drinker.  I think it takes a certain palette to entertain the taste or it maybe because it's for people of a certain maturity.  The one and really only time I had whiskey was with three girlfriends.  We were  juniors in high school.  None of us had ever had a lick of alcohol. It was a Friday night. The parents were away. We had vanilla ice cream.  The plan was to watch some movies and make homemade vanilla milk shakes.  We brought out the whole milk, the vanilla bean ice cream and the blender.  We sampled the shake and all agreed it needed something.  We didn't have chocolate sauce but we found some Jack Daniels under the sink.  None of us had ever tasted it before but it was brown.  "It might taste like chocolate sauce," one us said. Let's just put it this way, those shakes were quite tasty - a little too tasty.  When the parents came home, we were IN TROUBLE and asleep.  I wonder why?!

Wait too Long
When I was 28 years old I decided after five years it may be time to go in and have an annual physical and take care of the woman test - that being the Pap.  Ten days later my life radically changed.  I was diagnosed with cervical cancer.  I am an optimistic person by nature however the word, cancer, when it involves yourself, tests that level of optimism.  I had huge family and friend support and after surgery, was in remission.  Three years later, the cancer returned.  After another surgery, significant support and perseverance, I have been in remission for seven years. Whether you are a male or a female, please don't wait too long.  

Don't wait to tell your family and friends how much you love them on this Easter and don't wait for that darn annual exam because life is too short.  

Prepping for a Century

It's been four years and never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be a cyclist.  A competitive one you ask, "no."

However, when I borrowed my first road bike to ride 50 miles up Mt. Spokane, I would forever be addicted.  You see Lance Armstrong was correct when he said "it's not about the bike" - it truly is about the journey.

As a child you learn how to ride a bike, in fact, once you learn how, it's something you never forget.  Training wheels were in order back then but now they have these clips and you clip in.  Terrifying you ask.  YES!  In fact, shortly after the Loreen Miller ride up Mt. Spokane, I purchased my very own Fuji - no, not an apple but it's red and crisp and she's gotten me through some tough falls, long rides and inclement weather.

When I first started out I didn't have clips - your shoe is literally clipped into your pedal.  Some folks ask me why I'd ever want to be attached so closely.  It helps with form, speed and after sitting on the seat for up to 10 hours, you would want them too.

I'll never forget when I first crashed.  A person never does.  It was approaching a city bus in downtown Spokane.  Two young men driving past me yelling obscenities and telling me to get off the road if I recall.  Along came a city bus, the STA, at the time it didn't stand for Spokane Transit Authority.  In my mind, STA was an acronym for Slow, Tease, Attempt.

You see, after my altercation with the two young men, I could hear the bus in the distance, I slowed.  Turned to look, ahhh, the bus was a block away.  Turned back and there it was...that quickly, on my left side.  It teased me.  I held my breath to attempt to unclip to stop for the bus and couldn't do it.  Yes, I fell into a water drain.  Thank goodness it wasn't open.  In any case, I had road rash for weeks.  

Once you fall, you get right back up.  Sure, there may be red substance on your body but it's the thrill of knowing you can ride again that keeps the adrenaline flowing and the blood to dry.

Other quick pointers to remember:

• Always carry snacks.  You should eat every 15 miles. My favorite you ask, almonds.
• My first seat was definitely for a man.  I had sores where you shouldn't have sores.  If you're a woman, invest in a woman specific seat.
• Always carry a one shot (I am not talking about an NRA card.  This is a one shot of juice for your tires - air that is).
• Carry a spare tube.  It helps for times when you blow your tire while riding over long bridges with grades.  This happened to me while crossing the bridge from Washington to Oregon in Longview.  Not too fun.
• Remember, you'll fall so get tough and always wear a helmet even if you're in your neighborhood.  A woman fell into me once while stopped on her bike.  Yes, I fell too.
• Along with that, clothes are key.  Jerseys, toe clip shoes, riding shorts (they'll feel like diapers), it's OK
• And finally, the outhouses (porta potties) are small.  Don't look down or in...ever.

Prepping for a century (or 100 miles - I had to learn that early on) is not like running where you add a mile at a time.  It's realizing that each mile has it's unique beauty, challenge and that you're one pedal closer to the finish.  I've ridden 100 miles, 210 miles and am now looking for a 300 miler.  The more you ride, the more you want to see.  From Seattle to Portland, the CdA trails, neighborhoods and back country, consider trying it.  And believe me, don't use a mountain bike.  They are too heavy and your body won't think kindly of you.

So, get up.  Get out.  Get on and ride. 

Bye for now.  I am meeting my friends for a 25 miler this morning. 

Seven days of smiles...you tell me

I write my blog posts on Sunday so I have seven days to figure out what I am going to write for the next week.  Not really.  I could write a blog a day but really, who would want to read my random stories and detailed accounts of happenings?

Thank you to my followers and readers of my first blog.  I really do appreciate you.  This post is in honor of you.  Seven photos that made me smile, laugh and took me back this week:

 

Day 1:  Getting ready for summer, anyone?  Kayaking is a nice way to spend time on the water. This photo is of my mom navigating the water during her first kayaking trip in Scappoose, Oregon. We were tandem, really mom, this isn't your best side.  

Day 2:  This week I peered in my rear view mirror while traveling to work and I saw a gentleman shaving his head while driving.  NO JOKE, seriously?!

 

Day 3:  I took my car through the car wash this week and it made me smile when the cotton candy substance shot out of the machine.  Not only did it look like a carnival, it had the aroma of bubblegum.

 

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Day 4: The Madness has come to an end, my bracket didn't look too good this year. First, you need to know I had Kansas going all the way and secondly, to all my Cougar friends, yes, I had the University of Washington Huskies going to the second round.  PS, if you didn't know by now, I LOVE March Madness bracketology.

 

Day 5:  For a limited time only...they are back.  Taco flavor Doritos of 1978.  I may have purchased all of the limited edition bags at the Trading Company along with eating them one by one.

Day 6:  My 6 month old cat, Cooper.  He loves Q-tips.  I caught this photo and it reminded me of the candy cigarettes from my childhood.  About a minute after this photo, he learned how to turn on the sink.  Good thing, just in case he did catch on fire, he'd know how to extinguish himself.

Day 7:  In honor of someone special...these beautiful Gerber daisies were delivered to my office. They happen to be my favorite.  Thanks for making me smile everyday.  

Oh, those special memories.  

 

 

What I learned, I learned in kindegarten...

This post is dedicated to my friend Kaarin.

You'll understand why after reading on.

Let's go back a few years to your 5 year old birthday party.

What were you most excited about?  Toys, games, new pens and butcher paper...heck no, it was going to kindergarten.

Remember feeling the nerves - at the time you might of thought you had the stomach flu.  It was a time of preparing for new faces, a new teacher, recess, giggles, smiles.  

But were you were prepared to learn about biting, pushing, and name calling? Kids now days get kicked out of school (pre-school and day care too) for biting.  But think about it.  That was a lesson.  

1. Go to the dentist - "bite down"

2. An apple a day keeps the doctor away - "bite into a juicy apple"

3. Can't wait to fix a mouth watering (tofu) steak - "take a bite out of that"

So, really, Kaarin, the phone calls you get regarding your daughter biting and having to pick her up from school is her way of saying, "hello, I am advanced...I know how to bite."

Now, there is one thing you can say to her, "honey, we don't bite humans, that's cannibalism - and that is BAD."  Moving on.

Next lesson: pushing or for most boys it was shoving. I can think of three examples where this works really well...

Seinfeld - enter Elaine, "get out of here" and she shoves her best friends, out of love of course

December 26 (after Christmas sales) - we get the best deals when we wait in line pushing people at stores like Target, WalMart and Best Buy. In fact, the pushier you are the, the better deals you get.  They reinforce it with early bird specials.

Rock concerts - it's the mosh pit mentality, to get closer to the experience, you push your way (along with everyone else) to the front of the stage.

And the final lesson:  name calling

Everyone has a name.  Some just have better names than others and are easy marks for a few antics.  I remember a fond memory of a child named, Billy Stinkie.

You can't help but love, "stinky"  and we use it now in everyday conversation,"the garbage is stinky."  Name calling is really another word for rhetoric and propaganda.  And, where would our lives be without that?

Finally, the obvious items we learned can be taken and used everyday to make us stronger  and loving human beings.  Consider these:

• Share
• Play
• Don't hit people
• Put things back where you found them
• Clean up your own mess
• Don't take things that aren't yours
• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody
• Wash your hands before you eat
• Flush (and then wash your hands...really) :)
• Nap
• Look and listen
• Hold hands and stick together 

Ahhh. Kindergarten