When is your Word your Friend?

Today is the day when some of us (or you) make New Year's resolutions.  My best friend called me today and asked if I could provide her with a "non resolution."  I asked what she meant by that, "well you see,"  she said, "most people make resolutions only to completely fail miserably at them and I want you to dig deep and find something that would be life changing...one thing that you will resolve to do and follow through with."

At first, I smiled and thought to myself.  Doesn't everyone set out for success when making resolutions?  Are you telling me that most people think, "everyone else makes them so should I and by the way, it won't stick anyway?"

Doubtful but for you, Angela, I will make a "non resolution."  Before I do, I have to tell you what my last year's resolution was.  In 2011, I resolved to find a game/hobby or activity that would expand my mind and make me think.  Believe it or not, I found it.  It's a little game called Words with Friends (WWF).  You all know what it is and if you don't, you are behind the curve.  It's not too late to play and most people are addicted so you can find a virtual meet up on Facebook and be accepted into the cult.  

Some of you have killed the game.  Some of you have sworn.  Some of you have cheated. 

Some of you challenge the game but most of you play the game with "friends."  I quote friends because after playing a few games and losing your shorts, you wonder if these people are your friends or not.  And, you wonder if the computer is ripping you off or rigged in some way.  There are a few words that are actually words and WWF won't let you place them.  Did you know I tried several times to place the tiles to spell the word QUITE and it came back with UITE is not a word.  Really?  I didn't place UITE.  I placed QUITE. After several tourette outbursts, I finally had to place QI.  

Or, try the word, GAEL.  It doesn't work.  Does that mean that the  St. Mary's Gaels are meaningless?  BTW, WWF, Webster defines gael as:  

1. somebody who speaks Gaelic: somebody from Scotland, Ireland, or the Isle of Man who speaks Gaelic
2. Scottish Highlander: somebody from the Scottish Highlands

I am sure if I can use the letters AE to form a word, I should be able to use GU. Yes, GU and not the private university in Spokane but the meaning of GU is medicine/genitourinary.

And, I am pretty sure that LOOT is a word but you try it and see.  It doesn't work.  Should I call the creator of WWF and say WTF?  Or, should I propose to make another "non resolution" for 2012 and make up words in daily speak and call it babalish - meaning Barb's made up language for people who have tried words on WWF only to be disheartened by the pop up message on the screen, "Sorry, XXX is not an acceptable word."  

Most of my friends already know that I speak Babalish however it would be fun to use a "non word" a day in conversation and see if the person on the other end can tell or better yet repeat it in other company and carry on a new language.  

So, Angela, with that said, my non resolution for 2012 is to create my own language and have one person in my life accept me for who I am.     

Happy New Year everyone.  May 2012 bring you peace, happiness and a love for non words.

Those darn Christmas lists...

It's that time of year again when you ask your loved ones "what do you want for Christmas?"

Their response, "Nothing...I have everything I want and need."

And then there are some who give you a list.

I've heard some good stories this year about Christmas wish lists that I wanted to share.  I will disguise names for the sake of embarrassment.  You may know some of them...be one of them or better yet, want to use them.

2011 Christmas Wish List from a father to his sons:

Mom said trip to Hawaii would be nice

If you guys wanted to buy the coffee maker I could chip in. She wants the one that she was looking at in Wal Mart for $149.95 and the carousel for the coffee pouch was 29.95 - she needs both, I know you haven't seen it but I am sure the price will help you find it

She also mentioned a new pajama out there that looks like blue jeans

Or, her perfume - you know what that is I hope

Or, slippers - you better get the right ones or she'll ask you to take them back

I bet you can beat Wal Mart's prices at Best Buy or Costco. Love Dad

2011 Christmas request to a wife from her husband:

Husband (H):  Honey, what would you like for Christmas?

Wife (W):  I don't know, surprise me.

H:  Do you want something like a sweater?

W:  Why not something like lingerie?

H:  What kind?

W:  Please don't make me get online and show you.  Surprise me.

H:  Well, if you get online and show me and I pay for it...it would be a surprise.

2011 Christmas hint from a boyfriend to a girlfriend:

Boyfriend:  What do you want for Christmas this year?

Girlfriend:  I don't need anything.  What do you want for Christmas?

Boyfriend:  A new golf club.

Girlfriend:  What kind?

Boyfriend:  Wait a minute...scratch that, I'll get that myself however I can provide you with a list of other ideas.

Girlfriend:  That won't be needed, the elves will figure it out.

2011 Funny Christmas list from mother to her children:
1 Magenta colored crayon
4 marbles that are yellow inside
box of toothpicks
fuzzy bunny slippers
a Hot Wheels version of the Oscar Mayer wiener mobile

just add water instant underpants
a pad of post-it notes
a green highlighter
a 40 watt light bulb
wheat penny
peacock feather
Burger King crown
 

2012 Christmas Gift of the Month list to get you ready for next year:

January:  Join a case of beer of the month club 

February: Sign up for a wine of the month club

March:  Go online and click on Hawaiian flower of the month (deliver anywhere)

April:  Give a gourmet chocolate of the month club

May: A spa service once a month gift

June: Register for a quarterly sporting event or concert (football, basketball, Def Leppard)

July:  A get away of the month (cabins, beaches, B&Bs, camping)
August: The gift of a hobby (beginning classes in quilting, card making, photography)

September:  Order a book of the month

October: Deliver a cookie of the month

November: Sign up for an International newspaper or magazine delivery

December:  Decide never to do Christmas "wish" lists again

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone.  Remember the reason for the season.  Peace to you and yours.

Barb, the tool girl, Richey

I got the house.  He got the tools.

While I was at my aunt and uncle's house over the Thanksgiving holiday, the dinner conversation was random.  It included the occasional political jabs, why don't you eat turkey talk and my story about locating the best ladder for my light bulb changing duties.  My uncle asked, "why don't you have a ladder?"  At which I point I said, "I am waiting for it to go on sale at Costco."  -- right, like things go on sale at Costco.  

It then became a "he said, she said" exchange:

He said, "Well, what kind of tools do you have?

I said, "Right now, I am in the market for them."

He said, "you don't have tools?"

I said, "I have a $19.95 set with pink handles that I purchased at the grocery store."

He said, "Are you scared of tools?"

I said, "Ahhh.  No."

He said, "Do you know how to use tools?"

I said, without being disrespectful, "Really unc, yes, I know how to use them.  Mark took them when we divorced."  Hence, my statement...I got the house.  He got the tools.

To know my uncle (my mom's brother) a bit, consider this: 

Unc is a 75 year old man with a passion for collecting vintage toy trucks (he actually has a company; Semi Trucks).  He doesn't believe in the Internet so he travels across the country with a trailer and sets up shop at small flea markets, toy shows and any random casino parking lot between here and Dubuque. My aunt enjoys the penny slots so she travels with him when she's not working part time at Shopko - I think that's how they support their travels or it may be a place for her to escape for a few hours.  They've been married thirty plus years. 

My uncle was a chip buyer for the local paper mill.  He retired fifteen years ago and has since taken up puttering.   He's made clocks.  He's constructed bathrooms.  He's built fences. He's taken on photography.  And,  boy does he have tools.  My grandpa's tools.  And, a few of his own.

I spent this morning with my uncle.  He put together a tool "box" for me.  It's my grandpa's tool box from long ago.  It's my starter set.  I am quite excited to watch it grow.  I hope to have a garage like my unc's one day (pictured above). In fact, he asked me if I wanted an air compressor.  Ha.  "No, thanks, not right now, let me think about that and get back to you."

 

Take Five - What is your life about

Please take five minutes and watch (and listen) to this video.  Thank you for sharing, Kelly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaYh-KN94Ko